I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
