...so i touched it.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
