Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
