I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
