I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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