the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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