If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
