You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
