I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
