I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
