I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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