WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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