He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
it's like heaven, but drunker
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
