I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
