i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
