yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
