Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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