It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
