Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
