Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
