yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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