what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
