I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize