Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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