I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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