We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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