Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
