guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Blood and glitter go together right?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize