I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
