come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
