There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My liver is preforming stress tests.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
