Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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