worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
