I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Text me some of your sweat
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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