Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
