i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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