Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
