Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
