ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
