it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We just shotgunned beers for America
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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