I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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