just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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