Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
