The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
