You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
