OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
