Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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