I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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