Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
