you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
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