I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
