so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
