Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
