Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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