Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
