if i died would you start the facebook group?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
