literally had 100 drinks last night.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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