their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
